Skiffy Theory

"Stories are the original virtual reality device; their internal rules spread out into reality around us like a bite-transmitted virus, slowly but inexorably consuming its flesh. They don’t just stand around “being metaphors” whose sole purpose is to represent things in the real world; they eat the real world."

scott westerfeld

The moral of the story being: Zombies are kind of awesome.

Post-Mod Sux!

So--I'm not post-modernism's biggest fan. But I don't totally buy into the Stuckists. Some of their assertions I totally agree with:

"Post Modernism, in its adolescent attempt to ape the clever and witty in modern art, has shown itself to be lost in a cul-de-sac of idiocy. What was once a searching and provocative process (as Dadaism) has given way to trite cleverness for commercial exploitation."

but they have a really (un?)educated naivete which I find disturbing. The first point on their manifesto:

"Stuckism is the quest for authenticity. By removing the mask of cleverness and admitting where we are, the Stuckist allows him/herself uncensored expression."

Maybe I've been reading literary theory for too long--this makes me all, "Althusser, mofos, 1970, you can't escape interpellation into an ideology." Writing a manifesto about 20th C theories of aesthetics without a basic reading of 20th C theory? Makes you look foolish. Also the name. Also this:

"It is the Stuckist’s duty to explore his/her neurosis and innocence through the making of paintings and displaying them in public, thereby enriching society by giving shared form to individual experience and an individual form to shared experience."

Also, it makes me look foolish by turning me into an old lady sighing about how people don't read anymore. Stupid post-modernism, this is all your fault!

Woodworking

I was given a whole heaping load of old Spin-Offs recently by the very generous lady who taught me to spin; I've started working my way through them (almost done with the 2000s!), but it's taking me rather a long time, not only because I like to read each magazine deliberately, cover-to-cover, but also because they keep inspiring me to go off and make things. Mostly it's yarn--I've been dying hand-combed rovings with food-coloring, spices, and other natural dyes as described in various articles:

(clockwise from top left: food coloring, food coloring and turmeric, black tea and coffee, marigolds)

But I have also been inspired to make for myself a few of the little tools I've been missing. Now, I could have bought both of these at the yarn store, but I am both poor and cheap thrifty and so I decided to make a WPI gauge:

and a nostepinne:

Ok, yes, I used a little creative liscence on the nostepinne: it's really just a tapered dowel that I found in the junk pile of the barn, cut to 10", and sanded (plus the notch in the end). I've never seen one in real life, but I think mine is a lot bigger than nostepinnes usually are--I wrapped some singles off on it, but made more of a center-pull tube than a center-pull ball. It was like plying from a catepillar. Worked well on the chunky handspun you see in the picture though.

The WPI (wraps per inch) gauge is more interesting. I've been wanting one ever since I watched a Mabel Ross video that explained how to actually use it. I also got the wood for this from barn scraps, but it took me a lot longer to actually come up with something I liked. I only have handtools, no power (except a drill): a hacksaw, a pocket knife, and sandpaper. I made about four prototypes of the gauge before I settled on the one above. The first wood I used was too soft and kept flaking. The second was a little better, but also would split when carved. The third I used a piece of leftover moulding, which was easy to carve, but was too big around to be effective for thin yarn--took way too much yardage to get enough wraps. The fourth time I fixed the wood problem, with the reddish-hardwood I ended up with, but I initially tried to put the cut-out along the cut edge of the wood, perpendicular to the grain. Impossible. Then, kind of frustrated, I whipped out the hacksaw and sliced a 3x2 inch piece out of the original 2x4, then cut that in half, ending with a 1x3x2 inch piece of wood. After that it was kind of a breeze to carve out the middle inch and whittle and sand the piece square (or, rectangular). I used a 11/64" drill bit for the hole, finished it up with a couple of coats of Johnson's paste wax (the finish I use for all my wood spinning supplies), and a length of handspun (dog hair from my German Shepherd). Ta-da!

I'm really happy with the way it turned out. It's not 100% even, but I kind-of like that it has a rustic quality. Like they say on Antiques Roadshow: you can see the tool-marks, proves it's original. Also, I feel super crafty. Being a knitter and handspinner I should totally be blase about making stuff, but every time I'm surprised by how wonderful it is to make things with one's own hands.